There’s little worse than the conceit of the record reviewer. Personally speaking I despise any so-called critic who moans about the free music they receive and/or the accompanying joke of a press release. This said; there are some rules of press releases that everyone should be made aware of. So here’s lesson number one:

1. Never attach a glossy photo of the band with your usual promotional guff.

Divina Icon are an extremely handy case in point. Here we have three young (or not so young) men of vaguely sketched backgrounds and a real desire to mark themselves as “different” from yer usual indierockguitars bullshitters that currently clutter up so much of London. Unfortunately, their clothes and make-up appear to have been obtained exclusively from Camden market in London. That is; they appear to be men in their twenties or thirties dressed like teenage Placebo fans. Look at their very professional website here: www.divinaicon.co.uk. (Actually, go take a look at Claudio in the gallery. Poor guy. That eyeshadow doesn’t do him any favours.)

All of this would be pointless bitching if the music didn’t sound like men in the twenties or thirties playing at being in a sub-Placebo/Smashing Pumpkins/early Manics/Suede band. Yes, that’s GLAM and GRUNGE and [WEAK AS SHIT] ROCK combined with KEYBOARDS and HORRIFIC PRODUCTION to make one slightly filthy product geared towards getting signed and making it big in continental Europe. Aha, you observe that they have lyrics that are supposedly pointing out “western social issues” and making cutting political comment about modern issues. Aha, you’re not always sure if it’s a boy or girl singing, such is vocalist Dale’s nasal whine. Aha, you hear they have power chords and are aware that you can use a distortion pedal with a guitar to have quiet verses and loud choruses (though unfortunately no wanky Billy Corgan-style solos). Ooh, they seem to have hired in a session drummer for this CD because there isn’t one in the line-up they present for your delectation. And there are keyboards and all kinds of wanky over-production thrown into the mix to show that they are not only a truly modern rock band for all ages, but they’re also prepared to throw away lot of money in order to present themselves a professionally as possible to A&R men all over the country. Oh Jesus, there goes my finger on the eject button. Oh God, the CD’s gone out the window…

So, um, yes! People who review music on the internet are horrifically conceited. Like me. But then you get bands who are horrifically conceited towards “making it”, and the promotional photograph of a band is always their calling card. Why Divina Icon didn’t just knuckle down and write some songs and start playing together instead of obviously spending far more time and money on clothes, paying people to do them a flashy website, press shots, CDs, stickers and some really bad production on their demo. I just hope it didn’t cost too much, because the results really weren’t worth it.

This review is unfair. I am not a fan of the kind of sounds that Divina Icon make, nor am I part of their target market. So I apologise wholeheartedly for my cynicism and finger-pointing. Let’s face it, I’d probably be far fairer in my attitude towards this CD if it had been recorded in a shed by three illiterate tramps. But the kind of bullshit that Divina Icon display really makes you question why people make music in the first place. Is it because of the sheer love of playing together, or a way to exorcise yourself of particular feeling, emotion or energy? Or is it because it’s all about the money? I’ve got a feeling I know what motivates these three boys, and good luck to them. Joking aside, that CD’s out on the road in front of my house. I’m going to stomp on it right now.

www.divinaicon.co.uk

http://www.johnloder.blogspot.com/

Yesterday I found not only Fugazi’s rejected Steve Albini-recorded session for In On The Killtaker, but also the legendary original Albini mix of Nirvana’s In Utero. This is why file-sharing will never die!

Yesterday The Guardian contained an article by Alexis Petridis about how 2005 is a new golden age of live music in the UK:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/arts/fridayreview/story/0,12102,1537784,00.html

Interesting sentiment (from someone who has no idea about what is actually going on in terms of music being performed at venues of a capacity of less than 200 people?), and it’s nice to hear from Feargal Sharkey and whatnot, but something of a concern in the last paragraph courtesy of Steve Lamacq:

“Live music is going through the kind of renaissance that football went through when clubs realised that their grounds were unsafe or rubbish or not good enough and piled some money in. Then it becomes popular and the big companies come in. We’ve already had [multinational media corporation] Clear Channel arrive. I’m not saying for a moment that Clear Channel are Roman Abramovich, but . . .” He pauses. “Do you see where I’m going with this? The thing is that they’ll make big gigs really good. But instead of getting the best players, they’ll get the biggest names in rock and I think that some people further down the chain will go out of business. There will be exclusivity clauses saying if you don’t play this venue, you can’t play this other venue we also own. Where can it possibly end? Can it just get bigger and bigger? My advice to people is to make the most of it now. Enjoy it while it lasts.”

Or you could try and do something about it Steve. Make no mistake, having fucked over a huge amount of people in the USA, CC are now turning their attention to Europe and I’m really upset about it.

Look here for more information:

http://archive.salon.com/ent/clear_channel/ – a good introduction to the monopolising and bullying policies of CC.

http://www.clearchannelsucks.net/ – a central resource on information on CC

http://www.hailtocc.org/u2-2005/u2.en.html– part of a manifesto revealing quite how detrimental to grass-roots, DIY and independent live music promoters and venues CC has been in Belgium, and how they rope in the biggest rock stars to help them do so.

http://www.sourcewatch.org/index.php?title=Clear Channel Worldwide – some more information on CC’s ties to the Bush administration and pro-Gulf War rallies (no, I’m not kidding).

http://blog.stayfreemagazine.org/2005/05/radio_free_clea.html – an incredible article about how Clear Channel set up its own pirate radio station specifically to mock its other stations and generate publicity – check the comments.

Clear Channel may be able to pull its various strings together to bring big rock stars to big venues around the world, but their corporate muscle also prevents anyone who isn’t part of the elite (i.e. anyone who doesn’t submit to their demands) access to information, venues, markets and whatnot. Because they can infiltrate so many aspects of the music market, they can demand that booking agents and promoters have to work exclusively with CC-owned venues at CC rates, with CC-approved bands, in CC-approved towns, working exclusively with CC-owned media (radio/newspapers/magazines). Do you know CC also demands that in their venues all bands that perform have to surrender a hefty percentage of any merchandising revenue (not a new shady practice, but one taken to heady new levels, considering they’ve got fuck all to do with it)? You should definitely read about their tactics about dominating and homogenising the American radio market, and their links to highly conservative Republican groups (not to mention their playlist policies after the World Trade Center attacks in 2001). What’s freedom of speech again? Oh, and Clear Channel owns literally every venue in Boston, meaning that any band not wishing to toe their line can’t even play that city in America. Nice.

You may not realise it, but CC are already making headway into the UK. They already own Mean Fiddler and the Reading & Leeds Festivals, and have a 39% stake in Glastonbury. But here’s the most surreal – and worrying – thing: CC is now trying to infiltrate the UK music industry by pretending to be “indie”. You may have noticed a couple of independent gig promoters have suddenly managed to start booking up some bigger names to do some unique or intriguing gigs of late, quite out of the blue. I certainly know that they’ve approached a couple of independent promoters that you have probably been to gigs by (and maybe attended a festival by the sea organised by), offering to throw them money and access to the CC universe if they covertly surrender their freedom and independence in some unholy alliance. Thankfully, the people you’re probably thinking fo right now todl them where to stick their dollars. In additon to this, I’ve recently heard about booking agents having a nightmare trying to sort out tours for bands if they are associated with CC, having to work within strict ‘pre-approved’ boundaries of clientele when it comes to bands, venues and promoters.

I had been informed that indie ‘zine Drowned In Sound‘s own label, Drowned in Sound Recordings had been funded by CC, but DiS have come back to us to assure everyone that this is most definitely not the case. Phew! However, apparently CC did indeed “invite” DiS the magazine to have it’s own tent at the highly prestigious (CC owned) Wireless Festival earlier this year, apparently only to get some kind of ‘credible’ badge on their ‘indie’ stage. Their abuse of this ended up being pretty galling. This from DiS editor Colin Roberts:

“Yes, we ran a stage in conjunction with the CC-run Wireless Festival and were well-and-truly fucked over. We had very little say in the artists that played, but did manage to use the corporate might of one of the world’s largest media companies to draw a few more people to our web-site – essentially using the rich to bring something to the ‘underground’.”

I’ll let you draw your own conclusions about this.

Getting back to the main point, though it is heartening to hear that not everyone is willing to sell out their ideals about independent music, it is still obvious that a scary amount of people are willing to jump into bed with Clear Channel as they disingenuously try to seep their way into the UK’s live music venues and promotions through ploughing new money into the ‘market’ for live music. Unlike Mr Lamacq, I don’t have mixed feelings about this situation: I think it’s fucking awful, and I encourage you to do something about it. It’s quite simple. Read some articles at the above links, get yourself informed, and – if you can – avoid Clear Channel-associated products, gigs, venues and labels at all costs. It’s currently not too hard as their grip is fairly marginal, but only proactive action is going make them reconsider their policies. Fuck these bullyboys, their exploitative machinations and their heavy-handed dealings – support musicians, promoters and labels not willing to jump into bed with these soulless bastards for the sake of a quick buck. It seems like a pretty simple and obvious thing for me to say, but it’s always worth doing it just in case someone at the back wasn’t listening. Just do what you can. If you have any interest in music made and performed independently of the mainstream industry (and by reading this I would assume that you do), you can help.

“Support DIY” – I should have this on a placard that I have to drag myself around with, like a monkey on my back.

If anyone wants to update me or set me straight or anything, or even debate any points, please feel free to comment or email me at dstockwell(at)diskant(dot)net. I’m trying to spread awareness here. Please do speak up if you’ve anything to say and let’s get some dialogue going about this situation.

In other news, never heard of fearmongering? Now you have: http://www.frontpagemag.com/Articles/ReadArticle.asp?ID=18911

What a load of bullshit.

/soapbox

I can’t believe this shit. I move house, and thus temproarily lose my internet connection. In the meantime I have a lovely weekend of blissful ignorance, and then come back to work to be greeted by this:

http://www.swamirecords.com/news.html

The best goddamned motherfucking punk rock band on the planet have just split up, and YOU probably missed them last month. I thought they seemed to be having too much fun.

(If you can’t read this, go here)
Just as well really.

Quick Capsule Review: “Sin City”

“The coolest film of the year” it may be, but that doesn’t stop it being a tedious bag of shit. Bring me the head of Robert Rodriguez!

First release by brand new Leeds label Run of The Mill, run by Sophie who used to co-run Jealous Records, and this lovely 7″ slab of lime green wax continues in Jealous’ previous series of getting two of the finer bands from the UK’s DIY rock scene to do covers from long-missed music legends. This time around, two of Leeds’ math/punk heroes have a go at tackling the progmeisters King Crimson. Now I can categorically state that I’m not a fan of the KC, but the execution of each of these covers is deft enough to leave the imprint of the performers all over the original songs.

First up, That Fucking Tank have come on leaps and bounds from their early adolescent days as a Kill Yourself side project to start manifesting themselves as a full-on brick-hard party band, and this is their best hormonal discharge yet. As a baritone guitar+drums duo, they’re not afraid to acknowledge being influenced by other famous ultra-smart/heavy-as-shit two-pieces, but also have enough of their own brittle-then-ten-tonnes-of-steel sound and enthusiasm to stamp it all over their version of Red. Ripping up the tempo and reducing the melody to its most functional form, TFT tear free from the fairly leaden pace and sickeningly rich tapestry of sounds of the original to recreate it as an insistent stomping machine. You could almost dance to this shit.

On the flip side, Monster Killed By Laser tackle Larks Tongue in Aspic (Part 2) retaining more of the prog, but also injecting more of the zaniness, some rootronics (no doubt a tongue-in-cheek reference to KC mainman Bob Fripp’s self-acclaimed Frippertronics) and a great big widdly guitar solo over the end. Still a young band, MKBL have seemed to change identity every time I’ve seen them, but to give you an idea here they’re guitar, bass and drums that all do very complicated things together when necessary and then break down to the simplest crunching riff when also necessary. All very pleasing, and even managing to do the old Dungeons and Dragons-style mathery when required without sounding like the pompous arses I’ve always assumed KC to be. Plus, there’s some pleasingly strange squealing sample going on in the background towards the end of the song (the afore-mentioned rootronics?). The recording’s a little tinny, but what do you expect from DIY?

Oh yeah, and packaging is as gorgeous as all Sophie’s other designs. This is good. All is good. We like.

Bollocks. Out of the blue I just found out the new Lungfish album is about to drop, and upon perusing the website for the mighty fine Dischord label I found out that not only was vocalist Daniel Higgs exhibiting his artwork in London, but that he was over here on May 12th:

http://www.96gillespie.com/next_up/index.htm
“96 Gillespie presents a rare exhibition of Baltimore’s noted visionary artist Daniel Higgs’ drawings and paintings. This is the first time his work has been shown in Europe.
Daniel’s work is bold, clean, metaphorical; marrying the physical with the metaphysical, the real with the figurative, the sacred and the profane.
Please join us for a the private view on May 12th. Daniel will be here to share his work and music, with a special performance on the jaws harp.
show runs May 13 – June 9 . 2005 gallery hours th – su . 2 – 6 pm”

Fuck’s sake! Why do I only hear about these things a fortnight after they’ve occurred? Anyone read Daniel’s book(s)?

“The Fall are on Jools Holland’s show next week.
Mark E Smith is the only artist in the history
of the show to have a clause in his contract
inserted to state that Jools will not play
boogie-woogie piano over any of his songs.”

Fucking yes!

Almost as good is this email that I imagine every single member of the diskant team received:

Hi, Mr. Stockwell!
I work at Stick Figure Productions here in New York (www.stickfigureproductions.com). We are currently beginning production on a new reality show that’s going to break the mold of reality shows
– it’s the first ever on-line reality show. Showing on AOL.com. Warner Music head Lyor Cohen is headlining a new “Apprentice”-like show for the music industry. The final contestant will produce an unsigned band’s first album and sign them to his or her own label in the WMG family. A good opportunity for any young man or woman looking to make a big leap into the record business.
Now we are looking for possible contestants. Basically asking them to put together a short video about themselves and the local band they believe is the overlooked diamond that they’re going to help break out. If you had any tips or resources
that could help me out, kind of get the word out, I’d appreciate it. It looks like your site speaks to the kinds of people we’re looking for.
Please feel free to e-mail me back or call me at my office: ***-***-****. Thanks for your time and I look forward to talking with you. –Darren

Personally, I’m thinking of recommending Orthrelm. Or maybe Hotototogisu. Or The Skaters. Oh, so many TV-friendly bands to push towards stardom!