DESTRUCTO!
Posted: January 10th, 2007, by Chris SI am addicted to You Tube. And specifically one micro-genre of films contained within – people trashing their musical gear at gigs (or, bizarrely, at home or in the yard). Seems like a mainly Americanised genre and most of the films are made by bands that are beyond awful or by surburbanite monosyllabic windowlickers. Lame as it is, I sort of get why you might do it at a gig – but in your back yard?
This has somehow made it appeal to me even more. It is addictive and often hilarious. It is occasionally excruciating.
Here are some of my favourites for you to enjoy – famous or otherwise, all totally pointless:
“I don’t come to the bus station and slap the dicks out of your mouth when you’re working do I?”.
My personal favourite.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4NXlkt_o_Q
I don’t know what the fuck is going on here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=op_WDUaWZW8
Here’s about 7 minutes of Richie Blackmore acting like a nobber from 1974.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1aQ9P4qi8uo
Kiddy toucher takes an age to break his guitar. His roadie loosens the screws for him too y’know. To make it easier. It’s true.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUY5oRd1lBk
And here’s the middle class big nosed art student doing it again. Ouch.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=URfzAemzG2s
This dude trashes his guitar to stick it to the hippies man and then his band launch into the most fucking amazing full-on rock you’ve ever heard. It stirs me, emotionally.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLwrW77zTaU
The classic “switch to the shit guitar” trick. Genius. Great band too obviously.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j7_9X0AN3Hg
Yngwie Malmsteen having a wank onstage. Check the drumming.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RMVbDtNBX0U
Journey? What fascinates me about this one is the way he keeps strictly to his side of the stage, as per the stageplan. He collects the guitar each time and then retreats to his position.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FT_6C9mF-Ow
This is priceless. A fat dude in his garage.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hzfzgGBctyw
A digger truck? Isn’t that cheating? And pointless?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jG8-nYHNF9k
Man in bike helmet with strange moustache miming in garage and filming himself. On his own.I have to admit this one pains me a little as it’s a nice guitar. Or was. He looks like Bob Log III too.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zrMb7HsRLI
OK, not strictly a guitar but this surely can’t be for real? It’s like watching myself deal with a mobile phone.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2krt04eO6s0
My housemate Gareth’s favourite and one of mine too. Practise in the school hall style. Note the kiddy’s plastic red n yellow car onstage and the recoil in fear as the guitar goes mid-air.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nDkAZFrOF6Q
And, finally, the real way to smash something in two. With your stomach.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQTZEIDVVYc
A sub genre: the world’s need for those little red Grolsch bottle tops to put on their guitar straps…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lKRJLz90NJI
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l67oTM6FtIE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=avSYPyQ2GWU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zx4K4A8r_-M
Chris S
Chris lives for the rock and can often be seen stumbling drunkenly on (and off) stages far and wide. Other hobbies include wearing jumpers, arsing about with Photoshop and trying to beat the world record for the number of offensive comments made in any 24 hour period. He has been married twice but his heart really belongs to his guitars. All 436 of them.
http://www.honeyisfunny.com
January 11th, 2007 at 8:54 am
ha! I like the way Townshend turns down his amp after finishing his slow-motion old man smashing. Presumably to stop any nasty feedback happening ?!?!?
January 12th, 2007 at 12:04 pm
you should put your 9/11 conspiracy post from the Plan B board on here being that they have locked it
January 12th, 2007 at 12:26 pm
I intend to write a full article about it at some point. It’s just hard to seperate the things that are quizzical and intriguing from the sea of lizard theories and truly paranoid people. When you do that, there’s some shocking facts there.
January 13th, 2007 at 1:25 pm
Blimey, I’ve never looked at the Plan B board before. All of the 9/11 stuff on there is insane/fascinating
January 15th, 2007 at 9:53 am
its a huge industry in itself