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Posted: November 22nd, 2004, by Chris S

On Saturday I had my first experience of being a best man at a wedding. It was my Dad’s wedding which made it a little weird. Not blowing my trumpet but I have played to literally millions of adoring fans around the world as the rock star I am but I’ve never known nerves like waiting to give a best man’s speech. Fortunately I was drunk enough to pull it off.

We all stayed in the hotel where the wedding was. I flaked out early being the total lightweight I am but my Dad raged hard till 3 or so.

Next morning I came down to meet him and Anne for breakfast and noted early on that he was looking sheepish and she was talking for him. Weird. I immediately sized it up as being a case of him getting spannered and doing something stupid.

However, I didn’t bank on it being this good.

Anne informed us that he got in bed, felt a bit “rum” and then went to be sick in the toilet. Fair play, I thought, no shame in that.

Turns out though that in the morning Dad woke up feeling a little odd in the mouth and then realised that not only had he flushed several litres of prime chunder away when he pulled the chain, he’d also flushed away his false teeth.

Chris S

Chris lives for the rock and can often be seen stumbling drunkenly on (and off) stages far and wide. Other hobbies include wearing jumpers, arsing about with Photoshop and trying to beat the world record for the number of offensive comments made in any 24 hour period. He has been married twice but his heart really belongs to his guitars. All 436 of them.


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