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Posted: July 29th, 2004, by Marceline Smith

I finally got round to seeing some films last week after too many evenings organising records and/or being ill in a coughing way, which means trailers!

I, ROBOT – still looks really really dumb. Now starting to edge into the ‘so ridiculous maybe we should go see it for a laugh’ but NO. Also seems to have almost exactly the same plot as Minority Report. With robots.

CATWOMAN – this looks terrible, particularly the ‘hilarious’ cat-related jokes.

KING ARTHUR – was starting to actually look okay (if you can stop thinking about how cool a LOTR style King Arthur fantasy film might be) until the actor playing King Arthur said something. What kind of an awful accent is that? Urgh.

3 (or maybe 4, we were a little late) part trailer for HELLBOY – does anyone really care that much? Failed to move me to any emotion whatsoever, good or bad. Small child in front of us seemed confused also.

Not much to say about the actual films we saw. Spider-man 2 wasn’t really as good as the first one but was still very enjoyable (apart from several shouting at the screen type moments (STOP TAKING YOUR MASK OFF!, why didn’t you notice Spider-man and your best friend had THE SAME VOICE?) and the worry that all goes downhill now that some people know who Spider-man really is and he spoiler spoiler at the end. I really liked the opening credits though, all comic book style and nice flashes of the previous film for dumbasses like me who suddenly realised they’d forgotten everything that happened previously.

And Fahrenheit 9/11 was much better than I expected, what with all the furore and dismissiveness and OH NO LEFTY BIAS etc. Much less stunts and use of 9/11 than expected and very funny with a few utterly shocking moments. In this cynical old world it’s weird to find myself gasping in disbelief of what I have just seen. The weirdest thing for me though was being shown lots of footage of major players in the US government and me not recognising them, thanks to not having watched much TV in the past year! That’s one unexpected downside of getting all your news from the internet.

I haven’t got round to seeing Shrek 2 yet, thanks to my bandmates telling me the “twist” (no doubt obvious to a 4 year old) after someone spoiled it for them. Thanks guys. The gingerbread man is my new hero though so I will sometime. Also, why did no-one ever mention Shrek is Scottish? Sorry, I mean “Scottish” (cue Stu and his his Amazing Terrible Scottish Accent).

Marceline Smith

Marceline is the fierce, terrifying force behind diskant.net, laughing with disdain as she fires sharpened blades of sarcasm in all directions. Based in Scotland, her lexicon consists of words such as 'jings', 'aboot' and 'aye': our trained voice analysts are yet to decipher some of the relentless stream of genius uttered on a twenty-four hour basis. Marceline's hobbies include working too much and going out in bad weather.


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