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Yesterday I had my driving licence taken away

Posted: January 15th, 2003, by Simon Minter

I have been disqualified for six months and told that if I am caught driving a vehicle within those six months, I’ll be liable for up to a £5,000 fine and a possible six months’ imprisonment. SO, I don’t think I’ll be risking it. But anyway, here are my top three tips for appearing in court:

(1) Smarten yourself up. Wear a tie, get a haircut.
(2) Don’t be cocky. If you know you did a bad thing, don’t try and get out of it.
(3) Be prepared to kiss ass. Nobody except the people in the court can hear you.

Follow these rules and you should be okay. It worked for me, in a way – I was actually told that because of my frank and honest attitude that instead of getting a fine (of up to £1,000) as well as a ban, that the ban itself was punishment enough.

But this whole deal has made me realise that, when it comes down to it, I just want an easy, stress-free life.

Simon Minter

Simon joined diskant after falling on his head from a great height. A diskant legend in his own lifetime Simon has risen up the ranks through a mixture of foolhardiness and wit. When not breaking musical barriers with top pop combo Sunnyvale Noise Sub-element or releasing records in preposterously exciting packaging he relaxes by looking like Steve Albini.


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