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Posted: January 15th, 2002, by Chris H

Here I was going to write about going to see Glasgow’s finest purveyors of good time Rock (that’s The Cherrykicks, by the way). BUT I’m not in the mood. Some evil chav who must live in the same building as me has took half my bike from the landing outside my door while I slept, never mind the security door or anything.

I hope the seat gives you piles and the wheels burst on a corner.

And if I find out you are who I think you are I’m going to superglue your front door closed.

On the plus side, my U -lock obviously works but has anyone got any ideas what to do with a naked bike frame? I think I’m going to turn it into a voodoo doll.

Chris H

Chris was hit by a brick as a child and lost the popular culture part of his brain. This affliction means he is only able to listen to obscure japanese noise bands and watch films with overtly complex storylines. His other interests include skulking, editing documents, taunting policemen and entering undecipherable handwriting contests. He lives in an enormous underground laboratory where he spends many hours trying to un-invent television.

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