Haven’t bothered visiting the Onion for quite a while, it seemed that either the written content was getting formulaic or I couldn’t find the lulz because of the redesign.

However, I’m liking their video podcasts. From the 2 I’ve seen, they’re doing for US cable news what the Day Today did to News at Ten. This one (Beijing Olympics: Trap?) is like a 3 minute primer on Chomsky’s Manufacturing Consent.

In other news: beat rising prices by holding a barbecue at your house. Result: fridge full of food.

(Originally posted November 2002)

I’m late with my column again. Knackers. So I’m covertly doing it at work which adds to the excitement of my working day if nothing else. The reason I am late with it is because after 2 years of sharing a house with people we all decided to move out, taking each item we own with us. I don’t own the phone extension cord so my home internet access is gone. I also don’t own a sofa so my ass hurts.

Marceline has informed me that my column is for the ART issue of Diskant so I best make it about ART.

Which is awkward.

Let me explain.

I hate ART.

Well, maybe not all art but certainly ART and DESIGN.

In fact, hate is the wrong word. Let’s settle for absolutely fucking loathe with a passion.

I am a qualified Graphic Designer. In fact, I still work as a designer. I just did the Econoline album and a compilation CD with Cat on Form on it (among others). I design and sell posters in Nottingham for gigs we put on here. In fact, if I negotiate home internet access again in the near future I’ll put some of them up here for you to see. I work hard at design (part time) and I never charge much more than my costs to clients I work for because I want to keep it fun. This is one of the reasons I couldn’t do it as a job. The other is that most graphic designers I have ever met are scumbags and the profession is morally wrong and bordering on evil.

MENTALIST

you’re thinking.

You’re probably right. But I blame design for my mentalism. That and Salvador fucking Dali.

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As the diskant party approaches, everything is starting to come together. I now have fifty copies of the diskant zine, a 32 page photocopied jaunt through the last ten years of diskant. It’s basically lots of short bits of writing that caught my eye as I trawled the archives but makes for a fantastically good read.

Here’s the content line-up:

– Summer 2008 Catch-up by the diskant team (June 2008)
– Bargain Bin Culture by Wil Forbis (April 2002)
– Honey Is Funny by Chris Summerlin (April 2003)
– Mild Head Injury by Simon Minter (July 2002)
– Some Kind of Monster by Dave Stockwell (September 2004)
– Instal 05 by Marceline Smith (October 2005)
– The Owls Are Not What They Seem by Alex McChesney (July 2006)
– Magik Markers, twice by Joe Luna (May 2006)
– Liquid Blue by Fraser Campbell (June 2005)
– Super Quick Primavera Roundup by Ollie Simpson (June 2007)
– “Ladies and Gentlemen, we got him” by Ross McGivern (December 2003)
– Slint by Chris Summerlin (April 2005)

The unlinked items are columns which we will be re-posting at some point in the future. However, you can read them NOW (or in a few days anyway) by purchasing a copy right here in my shop for a mere £1. You can also buy copies at the diskant 08/08/08 party of course.

If you’re one of the people involved in the above works of genius, email me for your free copy.

Even though I am up to my eyeballs in diskant party planning, I still find the time to give you new interviews to read. It’s amazing isn’t it?

First up is a long-overdue Talentspotter profile of the lovely SUNNYVALE NOISE SUB-ELEMENT who have just released an album of live tracks and remixes and will be bringing their own particular brand of genre-defying experimental electro-rock all the way from Oxford to our 10 year anniversary party (THIS FRIDAY!).

In the other corner is the mighty WIL FORBIS, Acid Logic founder, musician, diskant columnist and general good guy. No wait, bad guy. Oh, whatever. With his book just published and his Bargain Bin Culture columns dusted off and re-posted on diskant, I thought it was time to catch up with the man himself. It’s a pretty damn good read if I do say so myself.

Wil has also kindly offered up a copy of the book and his latest CD for a giveaway right here on diskant. Just leave a comment on this post and I’ll get Wil to pick someone as a WINNER in a week’s time. Flattery is probably the way to go. All joking aside, this really is a fantastic book so get on it, or buy your own copy by clicking on the image to your right.

This contest is now closed.

Shit. This’ll be the third time I try to review this record. Let’s hope I don’t scratch the CD any more or my crappy computer doesn’t crash from overheating again before I reach the end. Anyway:

This record came out on Monday 28th July. It’s in a limited edition of 500 in translucent red, which is cool because everyone knows that coloured 7″s are totally down with the kids now. And translucent red is always the best colour to have your vinyl. You can buy it here: www.myspace.com/brewrecords.

This review is pretty redundant. Not only because it’s late, but because you can listen to both sides of it here: www.myspace.com/kongdom.

But whatever. Maybe you want to read a little whilst you listen. So who are Kong? A power trio (guitar, bass, drums) from Manchester, I heard they contain members of Oceansize (who released their debut 7″ on Diskant-related label Errol back in about ’99) and Amplifier (who I have a demo CD by that must have come out in about 2000 and are apparently still going). There are a bunch of videos of them on Youtube, the most pertinent of which is probably this:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LjHkWdB7gLU&feature=related[/youtube]

From this video you can make out a penchant for clown masks; that their guitarist manages to make a Fender Stratocaster sound really nasty for the first time I can remember in years; that their bassist seems to wish he was Andy from That Fucking Tank:

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Now, I can’t remember why I was sent a demo CD from 4tRECk – I get stuff sent for review, but I also get stuff sent that concerns Audioscope and/or Fourier Transform. I have no way of telling what this CD’s ‘purpose’ is. Damn my disorganisation.

Anyway. Regardless. I’ll mention it here because it’s veh good. A weird Anglo-French dinky-donky sounding set of tracks produced by one man and his portastudio, that mixes sensitive folk music with the structural oddity of American Heritage/Don Caballero/etc. Interesting for no other reason that it sounds both familiar and new, and it’s music that makes me smile.

The lot of a part-time reviewer is a strange one: half the time it seems like time is being taken away from listening to music I really want to hear, being instead spent piling through endless rounds of CDs from going-through-the-motions promo companies, where more art goes into the writing of a press release than into the music being desperately hailed as Something Important. It’s hard to remember the reasons for having got into this ugly scene in the first place; the occasional jolt of enjoyment to be had from one of two things:

1. Receiving a free promotional copy of a record I was already planning on buying;
2. Receiving a free promotional copy of a record I would never have bought, but which is a serendipitous glimpse into the world beyond my normal listening habits.

This three-track demo CD is an example of the second situation above. Far, far from the music I tend to listen to through choice these days, this is straightforward blues-based indie music, with one foot in the laddish guitar melodies of early Oasis and Ocean Colour Scene (remember the days when people genuinely, unashamedly liked those two bands?), the other in the unblinkered world of young musicians who have yet to be ground down by the relentless demands to be new, groundbreaking or boundary-pushing.

Sure, this is traditional, simple music – ‘Then I’ll Be Leaving You’ opening up like REM’s ‘What’s The Frequency, Kenneth’ before loping into a blues-scale-verse-chorus-verse-mid-paced song where you can certainly see what’s coming. However, I find it absolutely listenable. It might be the vocal style, which is more Davy Jones sensitive than Liam Gallagher growl; or it might be the sheer lack of surprises (everybody’s doing musical surprises, these days); or it might be the nostalgic twist of pleasure I get from this. Two further tracks ‘Sebastian Melmoth, You’ve Got A Nerve’ and ‘Hollow Eyed and High’ introduce, respectively, a touch of Faces-tinged piano mixed with Byrds-style western strum, and, well, a combination of the first two tracks’ styles. (I did say that this wasn’t surprising stuff).

Obviously 4 Believers (terrible name by the way lads, I’d urge a change if possible) are never going to set the world on fire. But is that so wrong? Here’s a band just getting on with things, and it’s occasionally a relief to hear that.

(Originally posted August 2002)

Anyone who knows me will agree. I am a guitar geek. Plain and simple. 3 of the columnists on Diskant tote axes that used to belong to me and I’ve lost count of the guitars I have owned in the past. The cool brown Telecaster I bought from a USAF pilot and then sold to Luke Younger to pay my rent? Don’t mention it unless you want to see a grown man cry. The weird all black Rickenbacker I traded some stuff for and sold to Ian Scanlon who then sold it to his own drummer? There’s a story. The white Stratocaster I split in 2 and glued together, filling the cracks with Tipp-Ex and then sold to a guitar shop? That was nice. My first guitar, loved and cared for then sold to some Scottish wannabe punk rock chick. Damn. The SG I bought last week for next to nothing. Love it.

I actually own a guitar built the week I was born and sold to me by a weird man in a house with no furniture near Newcastle. Less said the better I think. I also own a guitar worth more than my Dad’s car that was sold to me for fuck all by a lovely man purely because he realised I wanted it more than him and I’d never sell it. That lesson in karma restored my faith in humanity and got me a guitar for life, or at least until someone steals it. And I’m not even getting on to the tale of my friend Tony and the £10,000 guitar he found in a skip in Los Angeles or my housemate’s guitar he bought from Dave Pajo of Slint. Straight up. Anyway. I finally accepted my position in life and from now on I am officially a guitar dealer. That’s right. You name what you want and I will get it. Guaranteed. E-mail me. I have a few bargains as we speak (nice Fender Musicmaster bass from the 70s…mmmm…).

So! To celebrate, my column this month is all about the Gods Of Guitar. My axe heroes and heroines. Let’s not be bashful. Let’s reclaim the guitar from the cock rockers and celebrate it. Written in the format of a rock magazine review. Pete Townsend does NOT feature. The twat.

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Maybe you thought we were joking about the whole indie tombola idea but no sir. I have been pestering everyone even vaguely connected to diskant and the prizes have been rolling in. You can go see them all here on Flickr.

There’s still a few more to turn up but so far you could literally be winning any of the following:

– CDs by Part Chimp, Envy, Growing and Torche, a deSalvo 7″ and a label sampler from Scotland’s most tremendous record label, Rock Action.
– Singles and lovely embroidered patches from Brighton’s Blood Red Shoes, currently taking the world by storm (and thus dashing all hopes of The Oedipus reforming for our party).
– Albums by Polaris, Bilge Pump and Hirameka Hi-Fi plus lots of samplers from the UK’s best groomed label, Nottingham’s Gringo Records.
– Stacks of joy from indie legend Alistair Fitchett including 7″s on his Unpopular Records label, a full set of I Wish I Was Unpopular CDRs, badges and a special edition package of original drawings.
– Hilarious emo-broidery cross stitch samplers from Glasgow’s craft legends Miso Funky.
– 5 sets of CDs by The Marcia Blaine School For Girls, Like A Stuntman, The Village Orchestra and the Some Paths Lead Back Again compilation on London’s friendly experimental label Highpoint Lowlife.
– CDs from Oxford’s electro noise terrorists, Sunnyvale Noise Sub-element
– A lovely 7″ single from Leeds band Sailors
– Handcrafted jewellery, Scrabble bracelet and lots of badges by Glasgow’s crafty t-boo
– Postcard sets of seaside joys and badges by I Like, Scotland’s most uniquely interesting blog.
– A signed copy of our own JGram‘s book, the tale of the first person in the UK to get sacked for blogging.
– Vinyl box sets and handmade accessories from my own little venture, Asking For Trouble
– No tombola is complete without a bottle of Kia-Ora, some Mr Kipling french fancies and some Babycham so they’ll all be there too, fear not!

Get ye down to the CCA in Glasgow on 08/08/08 for a chance to win! If you’ve never encountered a tombola before (what have you been doing with your life?!), then take it from me; the odds are you will win something.

More info here >>

(Originally posted July 2002)

SHIT. New column time comes steaming around again and here I am under intense pressure from Marceline to deliver.

Sorry no column last time so it’s a double ended dong of an effort this time round.

After last months “I hate punk rock” columns all round (where Luke Y revealed he hates all his records which is cool because I hate all his records too) I see no reason to change a winning formula, except fuck it, I’m not in such a bad mood.

I’ll start with a whinge but it’ll get better so read on…

I was in the pub the other day and a good friend I was chatting to said she wasn’t going to see Fugazi because they’d sold out by playing Rock City (since postponed). Knowing a little about the organisation that went into booking the gig I know that’s total bullshit. Jimmy Eat World played there recently (more of which later) and it was nearly 14 quid to get in. Fugazi was £7.50. Add to that the fact it would have been the first gig at Rock City where over 14s can get in and I’m sure you can imagine how hard the set up of this gig was.

There is a far more eloquent response to this kind of criticism on the message board at www.nightwithnoname.com by the way.

The choice of supports for Fugazi was a weird one. The guy putting the show on in Nottingham is a very good friend of mine (not to mention the best independent promoter in the UK) and he mentioned some of the bands that would be playing on the tour. This is not a gripe and neither is it a big deal but it just got me thinking. The Fugazi support slot is something of an institution for smaller bands in that Fugazi occupy the unique position of being the only band big enough to pack out Rock City or Brixton Academy while remaining unaffected by managers, agents, label favours, tour packages etc. This means supporting Fugazi is the one opportunity for smaller bands to play to a packed house while remaining small, or put more crudely – without sucking anyone off to get there.

I think this is Fugazi’s intention and why, in the past, you’ve had bands like Marine Research or Pram playing on the bill or relatively small bands like The Tone or Hernandez opening up. Some of the bands mentioned this time around were odd though. One in particular got me thinking. I’m not going to go into details or even say the band’s name because this isn’t a criticism of them as a band (because they’re damn fine) or even a criticism of the way they handle themselves or Fugazi’s choice of support bands but more to do with some sort of mistaken identity.

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