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23 Nuggets of Nintendo pt 2

Posted: July 25th, 2008, by Marceline Smith

(part 1)


This looked so much fun – an update of the classic SNES games with lots of cool and hilarious new stuff. It really really was fun too, up until the point I realised I still have some inbuilt FAIL at jumping. Now I remember why I spent literally hours on end joyfully watching ex-flatmate and Mario Hero Ally C play Mario 64 and then would go play Zelda myself. Still, this game is so awesome that I persevered for a while, despite the dying 5 times in a row from sheer stupidity, and almost felt some kind of achievement. The addition of GIANT MARIO and teeny tiny Mini Mario is utter amazingness and I really could have learned to love this game. However, whoever decided to only allow you to save after each boss level is my new most hated person and has driven me into giving up entirely. I’m a busy person – I just want to play one level (5 times, badly) and then do something else. What exactly are we losing here by not letting me save after each level? I cannot believe I am hating on Nintendo for making games too hard to complete. The world has gone wrong. I also now wonder how I had the patience to complete all the Gameboy Mario games back in the day – clearly I had a lot more time on my hands. In summary, if you are not a loser you should go buy this.

Instead I turned to this, thinking maybe it will have that Mario awesomeness but be aimed at 4 year olds and thus let you save more often. And indeed, it is a cute but clever gaming experience with lots of Mario related platforming fun. However, it is ruined by a) Yoshi, god I hate him, b) having to carry a baby around at all times who floats off if you bump into anything, c) Yoshi’s big stupid head bumping into everything. I managed about 2 levels before all the cutesy-wutesy clouds and happy flowers graphics started to make my teeth hurt.

Now you’re talking! Who needs jumping when you can learn some useful real life skills like how to skewer an eel, peel a potato and program a microwave, all under the over-enthusiastic and watchful eyes of Mama. This is basically Cooking Mama 1 with new recipes and a million new modes and prizes you will never look at; in some ways an improvement and in other ways just over-complicating things*. On the whole, there seems to be less focus on interminable stirring tasks and taking 3 stages to cut up an onion, and more unexpected bonuses for being super-fast at oiling your frying pan. Just be careful though – one slip-up and Mama will be shooting flames out of her eyes in a rage. She really was not pleased by my pastry wastage making Mama shaped biscuits. Luckily I am great at stabbing eels in the head so we’re getting along okay for now.

To be continued. I am still mostly playing Mario Kart and Pokemon Link tbh.

* I hope you’re impressed I refrained from any over-egging the pudding type phrases here.

Marceline Smith

Marceline is the fierce, terrifying force behind diskant.net, laughing with disdain as she fires sharpened blades of sarcasm in all directions. Based in Scotland, her lexicon consists of words such as 'jings', 'aboot' and 'aye': our trained voice analysts are yet to decipher some of the relentless stream of genius uttered on a twenty-four hour basis. Marceline's hobbies include working too much and going out in bad weather.


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