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Chapter #346c in the saga of amazing gig promotions…

Posted: March 22nd, 2006, by Dave Stockwell

Tying in amazing well with our recently-published DIY guide for bands looking for gigs, once again we receive joyous news via the rapturous medium of Myspace.com:

“—————– Original Message —————–
From: ******* Promotions
Date: Mar 20, 2006 10:35 AM

Hey guys, ******* Promtions [sic] are organising an all day BOTB on the 21st of May 2006 at the Old Angel in Nottingham and were wondering if you would be interested in playing at it? The prize will be a record contract with ******* Records!

After huge success with gigs of the same nature in Wakefield and Derby giving us 2 awesome bands on our label (** ** ******** and ******) we have decided to do some more!

All you need to do to secure your place on this awesome gig is to be able to sell 20 tickets for £5 each and then send us the money. Simple. This money then goes to the winning band in the form of a tour, merch, demos etc etc etc.

Hope you are interested if so please give us the address to send the tickets to.
******* Promotions”

…All of which would be fine – horses for courses and some people see these things as opportunities, others (well, okay, us) see them as scams, yadda yadda yadda… read our guide for my personal opinion on such things, but feel free to form your own…


…the guy had contacted Bologna Pony to ask them to take part in a battle of the bands. Without wishing to disrespect anyone, can you really believe that this guy took the time to actually listen to Bologna Pony before he invited us to play? Do you think he really does want a horrifically loud improvised noise/drone band to actually play in a musical competition (for a contract entirely funded by sales of tickets for the gig)? Jesus Christ, think of the punters who turn out for their mates in the other bands! Scratch that: think of the other bands!

And whilst we’re on the subject; just how is the competition decided anyway? Because, let’s face it, Bologna Pony wins. Sorry guys! Personally, I was thinking we should enter just to see how many people we could upset this time around, but Gareth told me he’s already said no. Another opportunity missed…

Dave Stockwell

David can always be relied on to end his e-mails with one of those 'np: blah blah' things in order to remind us of how much more music he listens to every day than anybody else. His interests include rockin ' out in a major style as guitarist in Souvaris, throwing frisbees from tall buildings "just to see what happens" and simply kickin' back with his bitches in a gold-plated jacuzzi.


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