Vote Bean
Posted: May 5th, 2005, by Simon ProffittThe first candidate on my ballot paper this afternoon was Captain Beany, representing the New Millenium Bean Party. Because this is a secret ballot, I reserve the right to tell you whether I did or did not vote him. But check out the manifesto – it actually makes a hell of a lot of sense. Especially the bit about giving Prince William a bachelor pad in Cardiff Castle so he can date Charlotte Church.
The best is yet to come – for some strange, mesmerising reason I think this page is possibly the funniest thing I’ve seen in weeks: The Wales Yearboook General Election Guide
Update: Beany received 159 votes, just 17,833 short of what would have been a fantastic victory for Cardiff, baked beans and Prince William. Meanwhile, in nearby Cardiff North, the Vote For Yourself Party candidate received 1 vote. Presumably from herself.
Simon Proffitt
Simon was born near Clowne, Derbyshire and is now an honorary Welshman. In former guises he has created fake diamonds, developed ultra-high-capacity storage devices and been one half of slow-moving, über-pretentious record label Fourier Transform. He now spends his evenings recording silence and banging kitchen utensils.
http://www.simonproffittalloneworddotcom.co.uk