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Posted: January 19th, 2005, by Marceline Smith

Note to Cinema-goers: If a notice on the door says “the temperature in this theatre is slightly lower than usual. We apologise for the inconvenience blah blah blah” please read this is “Our heating is broken and it is snowing outside, therefore this theatre is freezing. Just go and ask for your money back”.

Or you could stay for the film wearing your thick winter coat and mittens while the chill air blows around the large theatre and its 8 occupants. If you’re really lucky you’ll have turned up to watch a film with lots of outdoor scenes in wintertime and rain which will make you feel even colder and which also drags out its plotline so it seems like the film lasts for 4 hours rather than the actual 2. Then see if there’s any feeling in your feet when you leave. Thanks UGC, I love you too.

If it wasn’t that 2046 was such a distracting film then I probably would be £3.75 richer, and warmer, but then I might have never have had another chance to see this on a big screen which it begs for. A time twisting tangled love story, this makes such amazing use of colour, texture and the widescreen format that I kept forgetting to read the subtitles because I was gazing at a bit of wall or pavement which was taking up two thirds of the screen framing the action into the final third. Basically a tale of lost love and the inability to love, switching between the 60s and the futuristic train from 2046 it’s filled with long pauses and lengthy narration and had a similar mind breaking confusion/clarity of Murakami novel. I wish I could have cinema sized print outs of some of the stills to put on my wall and look at. Sigh.

Marceline Smith

Marceline is the fierce, terrifying force behind diskant.net, laughing with disdain as she fires sharpened blades of sarcasm in all directions. Based in Scotland, her lexicon consists of words such as 'jings', 'aboot' and 'aye': our trained voice analysts are yet to decipher some of the relentless stream of genius uttered on a twenty-four hour basis. Marceline's hobbies include working too much and going out in bad weather.


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