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Posted: May 31st, 2004, by Marceline Smith

I’m hoping other people will join me in over-opinionating on the new trailers they see. Last night’s was possibly the best selection of trailers ever! Firstly (seemingly) 20 minute long Spiderman 2 trailer which gives away so much plot that I’ll now be able to turn up for the last ten minutes of the film and understand perfectly what is happening. Except it looks great so I’ll be going to see the whole thing. Then the new Harry Potter. I have not seen or read any Harry Potter and spent the entire trailer going “What? Whaat! WHAAAAT?!” It makes no sense. It is mental. I quite want to see it. Then I, Robot. This looks like the worst film ever! Robots with human faces! GONE MAD! Fantastic. Oh, and Shrek 2. That looked okay.

All this was an excellent pre-cursor to the film we were seeing, which was The Day After Tomorrow, oh yes. Anyone having read my previous over-enthusiasms on The Core will know what we were hoping for. We didn’t exactly get it. The Core is great because it is a ridiculously stupid disaster film which the characters take entirely seriously. The Day After Tomorrow tries too hard to make things believable but it is just too very very stupid. There are so many best bits in this film that it took us about an hour afterwards to list them all.

Possibly the highlight was the Glaswegian audience’s reaction to the ‘Northern Scotland’ weather monitoring station in Glasgow (a Glasgow which seemed more like Orkney) and the Scots staff working there who were fans of Manchester United and made their solemn final toast “to England”.

But no, the undoubted best bit involved three young men going outside (despite previously insisting anyone going outside would freeze to death instantly) to board an enormous abandoned Russian ship (which just happened to make its way up their street when New York flooded) in search of Penicillin for The Girl who had contracted blood poisoning (while saving a woman’s passport) and were then attacked by WOLVES who had escaped from the zoo earlier and had obviously made their way to the nearest ship in search of flesh despite all the dying frozen people everywhere and of course the instantly freezing air (which obviously doesn’t affect wolves).

As this scene started, a man in our aisle (with great foresight) stood up, said ‘this is Appalling!” in a loud voice and walked out.

Funniest film I’ve seen in ages.

Marceline Smith

Marceline is the fierce, terrifying force behind diskant.net, laughing with disdain as she fires sharpened blades of sarcasm in all directions. Based in Scotland, her lexicon consists of words such as 'jings', 'aboot' and 'aye': our trained voice analysts are yet to decipher some of the relentless stream of genius uttered on a twenty-four hour basis. Marceline's hobbies include working too much and going out in bad weather.


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