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Pirates of the Caribbean

Posted: October 7th, 2003, by Marceline Smith

Aw, everyone’s been doing much more exciting things than me. My weekend was mostly spent putting together exciting new content for diskant (lots on the way, keep an eye out), playing Zelda: Ocarina of Time (yes, I know it’s taking me actual years to complete) and managing quite well not to spend money even when faced with records and hamtaro things.

We did also go and see Pirates of the Caribbean in random Saturday night ‘want to go to the cinema, what’s on?’ thing. It was the only film on at the right time that we both kind of wanted to see and it was surprisingly fun. I only realised after it finished that I hadn’t found any spare time during it for my mind to wander on to other things. The plot’s very Disney (a happy-go-lucky mix of pirates, treasure and CURSES) and at times made no sense at all but it was all highly enjoyable and a bit stupid. Johnny Depp mightily fun as Bad Pirate Who Is Also Kind Of Good (a complex character for Disney there) and Orlando Bloom does ‘Orlando Bloom pretends to be a pirate’. Jeez, the guy can’t act. He just does ‘Orlando Bloom pretends to be an Elf’ and changes it slightly. I kept expecting him to peer through the rigging and shout, “They are taking the Hobbits to Isengard!”. He is very likeable though in a sort of dumb puppy falling down the stairs way. The last twenty minutes had enough plot ‘twists’ to keep anyone entertained but the actual ending was unbelievably lame like they realised the film was actually getting too fun and exciting and they better quickly simplify it into ‘boy gets girl, THE END, GO HOME NOW’.

Marceline Smith

Marceline is the fierce, terrifying force behind diskant.net, laughing with disdain as she fires sharpened blades of sarcasm in all directions. Based in Scotland, her lexicon consists of words such as 'jings', 'aboot' and 'aye': our trained voice analysts are yet to decipher some of the relentless stream of genius uttered on a twenty-four hour basis. Marceline's hobbies include working too much and going out in bad weather.


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