http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4391955.stm

Make money by compromising your lyrical integrity – you might get some free Big Macs

I’m DJ’ing at a benefit gig on Wednesday. I’m sure I’ll be great, so come along to The Vale, just by Queen St. station.

But there’s more than just me trying to inflict my taste on hapless punters: there’s bands and video projections and an Easter egg raffle.

The bands that are playing are Magdalena, Yuffie and Transient Noise. I look forward to hearing what they’re like, they doubtless rock.

We’re asking for a £3/£2 donation to The G42 Collective. The money will be going towards opening a social centre space in the southside of Glasgow. We know what building we want and what we can do with it, we just need enough to get the ball rolling. There’ll be space for film screenings, cafe nights, exhibitions, talks, workshops and allsorts.

I think this allowed right? A film review?
I was excited about seeing this. I loved Cohen’s film Lost Book Found and the Fugazi Instrument documentary. This is billed as Cohen’s look at consumerism and the mall culture that dominates America. It’s also a narrative piece with actors rather than a documentary piece. With Cohen’s skill for the visual it sounds great – right?
About 45 minutes into this I was unsure whether or not to scream at the top of my lungs or run full pelt out of the cinema. By 100 minutes I wanted to strip off, paint myself red and run through town.
I challenge anybody to watch this film twice. It seems to last about 3 weeks. As an accurate representation of the monotonous, numbing quality of shopping malls it hits the nail on the head. But as a film, fucking hell. It’s my somewhat simplistic opinion that films should either entertain or enlighten and hopefully a mixture of both. Don’t mistake the word “entertain” for “shallow”. I mean, films should engage the audience and get them on board.
By the end of the opening sequence of Chain I had a good idea of what it was about, the angle it was coming from: consumerism = bad. I get it. Everyone in the cinema gets it. I can’t believe there are many people who would flock to a Jem Cohen movie who also like to check out the bargains on a Bank Holiday Monday or who eat at McDonalds. We’re all lefty liberal arty farty types, we agree with what’s being said so now what? Now nothing.
Considering his past work and the way he deals with subject matter this was like a sixth form film project. Sure, it looked amazing at times and the opening sequence soundtracked by Godspeed was phenomenal but there was a distinct lack of any depth in it at all.
The film centres around 2 characters: a young girl living rough and taking menial jobs, always centred around the mall (played by Mira Billotte of the band White Magic) and an Oriental businesswoman who ploughs a lonely path trying to push her business into America. They are both trapped by the world they’re in and even though they come from opposite ends they meet in the same place and live parallel lives.
Film students always make films about the homeless but because they’re so rich and middle class they make a hash of it. They get their mates to pretend to be homeless, or ill or whatever and it’s laughably one dimensional. The characters are like that in Chain. You’re never given a reason for why Billotte’s character is trapped going from mall to mall. You don’t know why she’s sleeping rough. It’s mentioned in passing that she ran away and she films herself for a tape to send home but the character is given such a shallow foundation you can’t empathise with her. You just don’t know whether you’re supposed to like her, feel sorry for her or even what she thinks. Ditto for the businesswoman. Both character’s monologues are delivered in flat, unemotional tones that serve to instantly remove any human feeling you might have for them.
I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking it sounds good because of this and I missed the point. You might be right but like I said, the point is a loose feeling of anti-consumerism and that is it. It’s a 5 minute short at best. It’s not a 100 minute feature.
You fucking sit through it.

I hate Bank Holidays. All my mates are somewhere exotic (Germany, Sacramento, Lutterworth) and I am stuck at home. I thought about buying a mail order bride for the holiday period but the delivery time is 6-8 weeks. I think this all stems from Eternal Sunshine Of The Spotless Mind or whatever the fuck that film was called.
I watched it on Thursday and I have been miserable since. Great film though, just don’t watch it if you’ve ever “loved and lost” as they say in the songs.
I’m going to go and play the drums.

Robert Crumb (‘The People’s Favourite Underground Cartoonist!’) on diskant favourite film Some Kind of Monster:

“Recently, I was watching a documentary film about the heavy metal rock band Metallica, and I thought, “Oh my God, the culture is totally fucked!” The film shows scenes of concerts where thousands of young men stand with their shirts off, raising their fists in the air, screaming and cheering to this shrieking heavy metal music. I felt like I’d just arrived from another planet. “What in God’s name is this about?” I wondered. It seemed to be about everybody thinking they’re a rebel, thinking they’re hip and angry against some square culture that barely even exists anymore.”

Taken from ‘The R. Crumb Handbook’ by R. Crumb and Peter Poplanski, 2005.

A bit of a Damn You! shaped plug here.
We have some fantastic, weird, unique gigs coming up in April. We’ve done a lot of heavy stuff of late so it might be coincidental but as spring arrives we have some perfect cool beer supping music on the horizon.
Friday April 8 sees a US double header with Thee More Shallows (Monotreme Recs) and Giant Haystacks ably backed up by our own progmeisters Souvaris and Brighton’s Projections who are ex-Cat On Form. Thats at the Bunkers Hill Inn and its £4adv.

Then on Tuesday April 12 we have moved heaven and earth (actually we got them to move a show in Germany) to get Fog to play. How can someone simultaneously play genius hip-hop inspired electronica AND sound like the best Will Oldham records? Come see. Last time he payed it was incredible. Not only that but you get an equally rare live outing from The Telescopes as support. Line opens up with his electrickery tunes. That one’s downstairs at the Cabaret and is £adv too.

Finally on April 20th we are super chuffed to present Chris Brokaw. Chris has played in/with (deep breath) Come, Codeine, The New Year, Consonant, Pullman, Evan Dando and GG Allin (!). He is the finest solo acoustic guitarist about. His show last time at the Social was perfect. Don’t miss this. Support is from me, aka Last Of The Real Hardmen, though for this one I have drums from Mr Gareth Hardwick and cello from Ms Lucinda. Two other bands will be playing, it’s going to be each of those bands’ first gig so I’m waiting on names…
That ones at the Bunkers and it’s £4 adv too.

We also have a special May Bank Holiday show on the Sunday planned for the Sneinton School Hall. It’s and it’s going to be the last-show-of-the-tour party for one of our favourite bands. If you like American Underground punk rock, wah-wah and the sounds of Prince you’re going to shit when we sort this out.

Click the link at the top for directions and tickets.
xxx

Hopefully I will get some of the new diskant stuff online tonight. I’ve been very busy lately for once and it is only going to continue what with it being MY 30TH BIRTHDAY ON FRIDAY, HINT HINT. All cutesy Japanese things, books and birthday greetings happily accepted.

Anyway, Trail of Dead on Sunday which was fun despite the shambles of trying to find a band member for interviewing purposes. Seems TOD don’t even soundcheck themselves any more! Is this the height of lazy rock star madness? We cornered Jason later with our buddies from Beard so look out for that in the next issue (haha, great photo of Jason and Conrad on Beardblog there). The TOD show was way better than the wee Tuts show last year. The album really does take a good few listens for its tuneful prog mentalism to take hold. Onstage fighting always good too. Sad I missed Conrad’s violin playing with The Black though. My highlight of the evening was definitely wee stuart singing an Uter song to me when describing how much they enjoyed listening to it through their huge PA. Yay.

Last night I went to see my workmates Fraser and Tom in their comedy sketch show You Owe Me Glue. I’m not a big fan of live comedy, particularly sketches but this was pretty funny. Certainly proved that running gags, ridiculous costumes and especially cuddly bunnies being evil is always funny.

I have just come to the conclusion that these two records are the best two records ever made. EVER. I once travelled to New York just to see Chavez and they sucked. This has not clouded my opinion of these mighty works. Thank you.

There are some albums where each track is very different, and this makes the album seem like a disorganised mess from a band who can’t decide what they’re doing. Then there are some albums where each track is very different, and this serves to reinforce a band with almost more ideas than they can handle. Luckily this one is from the latter camp, and whilst Last of the Juanitas seem all over the place in terms of song structures and styles, they hold it together with an odd sense of noise, paranoia and aggression which is both captivating and exhilarating.

So this album starts with a brooding, doom-laden sludge of a tune which sounds like Low trying to pull off a Part Chimp cover. Then as tracks go by, there are elements of all kinds of other bands hurled into the mix: Prolapse’s relentlessly tense dual-gender vocals; the Nightblooms’ sharply carved guitar chaos; Quickspace’s pop-under-a-pile-of-rubble tunefulness; American Heritage’s heavy angular rock’n’roll shapes. The combination is enriched with a strangely hallucinogenic feel and a foreboding sense of anger, making for a great and surprisingly original-sounding album.

Wäntage USA

That’s Kill Yourself, the band famous for Not Sounding Like Shellac. Maybe in their formative years there was more than a little of the Albini stop start skrrng about them but they’ve long since beheaded THAT albatross, and pushed the envelope into a distorted postbox of maniacal screeching, off-kilter time signatures and evil bass riffs. I wonder if, at age 80, I’ll find myself humming more Kill Yourself songs than Shellac numbers, terrifying the ‘life’ out of the bed-wetting squares I’m sharing my twilight years with. Because these two songs are up there with the best, young man, mark my words.

‘You Are Good’ starts the OAParty of my future with its disjointed verse, tension-tastic middle bit and torso-bangingly euphoric chorus, and then before you know it its all falling apart again. Very, very good. But its ‘Fill The Sails’ which is the real killer no filler on this bit of (blue) wax. A toe-tappingly relentless repeato-riff underpins toe-curlingly creepy vocals, a genuinely unsettling ‘quiet bit’ genuinely unsettles me and it all comes to a head with a coda I can only describe as ‘punishing’. If this is still in my head at age 80 I’ll be a happy, if slightly deranged, old codger.

Obscene Baby Auction