IAN: We've now reached question eighteen - your mate mentioned, and I quote, "ARE YOU EVER GOING TO PLAY BOLTON AGAIN?". Erm...
GRAHAM: I'd rather saw my own head off.
IAN: I'd rather saw his own head off as well. I don't think we will. I think Bolton's not quite ready for us yet.
GRAHAM: That was the most pointless gig in the world.

Urusei Yatsura play the Bolton Crown and Cushion. It is not a success

After the excitement of last night's interview in Manchester, meeting Marceline for the first time in person, she criticising my bomber jacket (not that its presence makes me similar to Martin Rossiter, Marceline!) and going to the cash machine with Fergus in the pissing rain the previous night, I was feeling rather jaded. Coupled with this, when we're not being top pop fanzine writers we lead an amazing double life. For my sins I am a student nurse and three weeks on an acute psychiatric ward does not do much for your nerves and does not lead to a relaxing time.
Therefore, I decided to haul myself along to a venue at the hub of the universe to sample the delights of Urusei Yatsura. I was puzzled why they had chosen to play here as it is not more than fifteen miles from Manchester and not exactly a hotbed of lo-fi excitement.

When we arrived at the venue on a cold Tuesday November night it was obvious that no-one was going to turn up which was pretty disappointing. The support band, Eska, went down like the proverbial lead balloon due to a substantial lack of people in attendance and an ear-damaging volume. When Urusei took the stage, despite much grooviness and yelling and guitar histrionics, the people of this parish were not fair impressed leading to an extreme lack of atmosphere. Oh well, at least I enjoyed myself although I'm not sure my girlfriend did. Graham said to me afterwards that this was the worst gig they had played in two years. Ho Hum......

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE PLACES IN GLASGOW?
IAN: I'm going to go for the Barras. A nice place to go every so often but not all the time - you can see some daft stuff being sold at funny prices.
FERGUS: Byres Road and Great Western Road -they're just nice to wander about in in a daze. Wander into a shop and then go out again and then you get hit by a car, then get chased a bit, then go into a pub and meet a friend.
IAN: We're in this pub called the Western Tavern and behind us there's dominoes being played. Like, Championship Tournament Dominoes.
FERGUS: They play every month.
ELAINE: What other pubs? 13th Note, Griffin...
FERGUS: Nice 'n' Sleazy's, King Tut's...
ELAINE: The Exchequer used to be good.
IAN: and just as we're thinking of best ones, let's think of a bad one. Bad pub.
FERGUS: There's so many.
IAN: Bonkers. 'Glasgow's Premier Fun Bar'!
FERGUS: Elaine's been there!
ELAINE: Once! Five years ago and still it's remembered!
IAN: Venues? We've done most of them.
FERGUS: The Barrowlands is good. We've got to mention Babelfish rehearsal studios 'cos that's where we rehearse and they're really nice. And it's in a scrapyard.
IAN: Shops?
FERGUS: Oh, Missing Records, Fopp.
IAN: I would say Byres Road for charity shops.
ELAINE: Oh no, you want to go out of town for charity shops 'cos then students don't go to them. Your Duke Street and your Parkhead.
FERGUS: Shawlands. All the shops I like are music shops and record shops.
IAN: What about bookshops?
FERGUS: Oh, bookshops! Yeah, John Smiths is really good and there's a good Waterstones. Lots of good bookshops near the University.
IAN: Stephen Pastel works in Byres Road [upstairs in John Smiths if you want to go!].
FERGUS: I can't go there 'cos I like him too much. I'm such a fan I get nervous. He gets lots of Japanese fans coming in and wetting themselves while he's trying to sell them a single or something.
IAN: And he's not the most assertive of blokes, you've got To admit.
ELAINE: Salesman of the Year..!
FERGUS: Oh, I really like my newsagents as well 'cos they take the piss out of me and I like them.
IAN: For being a quote pop star unquote?
FERGUS: Yeah. They don't believe we've done anything apart from, we were in the Scottis h Sun 'cos we're being pursued by the Mafia in Japan. That was the first time they really believed I was in a band.
IAN: Yeah, we had a whole page in the Scottish Sun which was basically total lies.
FERGUS: They kept saying that some guy called Don Corleoni had been looking for me.
IAN: Ha. Ha. That was a funny joke by his newsagent.

Urusei Yatsura split up in August 2000

Interview by Alex Lincoln and Marceline Smith
Photos by George Bean