I ask the guided missile man some questions

guided missile is a record label that releases records by bands like the yummy fur, lung leg, the male nurse and donkey. It is run by a mad shouty man.

Did you have any plan of action when you started Guided Missile?
GM: I started the label in order to pull birds and my initial plan was to become a Jonathan King type figure. The eventual aim: the UK to be represented by the Male Nurse at Eurovision.

Do you ask the bands or do they ask you?
GM: It varies. Usually, these days, I ask them.

Do you only sign bands that you can describe as sounding like early Fall?
GM: No. Only 95% of the time.

Which side of the punk/DIY - sell-out fence do you stand on?
GM: Difficult to say. I like the punk rock ethic, but money changes everything. You can't blame a band on the dole, being given a handful of 7"s every few months from their "true independent" label for wanting to sign to a label that will give them a few extra quid in their pockets. The ideal: more drugs = better music. The reality: more hooks = less swearing. The moral: maintain full control, take stronger drugs, write songs that last a full album, split into seven movements. Change name to gnidrolog.

Do you mind that Everett True likes various Guided Missile bands and pretends that he knows you and you like him?
GM: Yes.