m: What do you think of bands like Dweeb, who say they started a band because they were influenced by bis?
amanda "With them...they weren't influenced by us - they happened because of us. I don't like they way they've gone about it, they've just ripped us off completely. Dweeb are just a total copy, really."
steven "It's quite funny really. At least we don't have to have a tribute band 'cos we've already got one...NoWaybis!" [everyone laughs]
john "We can quite rightly say that we are responsible for them and they can't deny that because...because they've told us! But, yeah, good luck to them. Hope they..."
amanda "Die." [everyone laughs]
steven "No, no. Hope they go far..into the distance."
amanda "It's alright - we've heard that they've been beaten up by several people already!"

n: Do you think you'll make a lot of enemies for doing the Smiths tribute album?
steven "Yeah, especially when they hear it. We have destroyed it completely, and enjoyed it greatly."
amanda "I hate the Smiths! I hadn't even heard the original song until after we did it."
steven "They are the complete antithesis of what bis is, 'cos they're really quintessentially English and really formal and..."
amanda "Boring."
steven "...y'know, a proper band. And we're none of that so we thought it would be dead good to go on this album and destroy it and have people slag it off."

m: Can I ask you a really boring question...where did the name bis come from?
steven "Yes."
john "Please ask us that question."
steven "It's short for biscuit. No, it's just to avoid having a name like Menswear or Death By Rotting Carcass that obviously says what type of band you are."
amanda "We're just trying to avoid the question really."
m: And is it law that you have to spell it with a small 'b'?
steven "That's legend, yeah, but it looks nicer. Capitals look rubbish 'cos it looks like it's initials for something, and it's not."
amanda "The letters look like each of us."
steven "Do they?"
amanda "The 'b' and the 'i' are very tall - that's John and Steven - the 's' is small and wide and that's me!"

A particularly horrendous Bryan Adams 'track' comes over the sound system
steven "Oh, come on...that's outrageous!"
[much horrific perv-lyrics]
everyone: "Oh nooo!"
Amanda notices the chorus' similarity to "I Love Rock 'N' Roll' so they all sing along loudly to prove it. Indeed, it is true
steven "We could do the interview in that cupboard. Hold on, I'll just see..."
[goes off, still singing, to check out nearby cupboard]
Okay, let's go in there."
amanda [speaking into the tape-recorder] "We're going into the cupboard!"

So we all crowd into this tiny yellow cupboard full of camouflage background scenery...!

steven "There isn't a lot of room, but..."
amanda "This is our dressing room!"
steven "Right, Amanda, ask me a question."
amanda "Right, why are you called bis?" [we all laugh]
m: Gosh, I've never been locked in a cupboard with a band before.
steven "Yeah! Is it locked? Oh god."
john [fiddles with door] "It is now."
amanda "Go!"

m: Do you play games on the tour bus?
steven "We don't have any."
john "Footsie."
steven "Truth Or Out The Back Window."
amanda "Stick your finger up at every kid that goes by..."
steven "Yeah, we've got darkened windows so if there's old people driving past we can do that to them. We don't have a fancy van though...but it's much fancier than anything we've had before 'cos it's got a TV in it. Which isn't tuned in..."
amanda "It is fancy!"

m: Tell us your birthdays, then everyone can send you presents.
amanda "Oh, excellent! Mine's the 22nd of March, 1977."
steven "Mine's the 20th of March, 1976."
john "21st of August, 1978."
amanda "There you go. Buy us presents!"
m: Don't blame me if no-one sends you anything.
steven "I know, yeah."
The door suddenly opens to reveal a bemused roadie
john/steven: [squashed by door] "Woaaah!"
amanda "It's too noisy out there."
roadie: "I'll come and tidy the cupboard in a minute then."
amanda "Okay!" [the roadie departs]
steven "Oops."

m: I like your watch, John.
john "Yeah, I keep losing it and then finding it again a we ek later."
steven "why do you take it off?"
john "To wash my hands."
steven "Do you take it off to go to bed?"
john "No, no."
steven "No."
We all compare watches
amanda "Mine's very...big."
steven "Mine's good!"
m: Oh yours is cool.
john "Pop star watches!"
steven "Anyway...that'll be good for the tape."

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