Right, heres what
happens : 4 people were played 8 pulp recordings and have to give a mark
out of 20 each. These are added up to make a percentage. These people were
not told who the group were, and some of them are not exactly huge fans
of the band, so the more sensitive Pulp fan may want to look away now.
1. "David's Last Summer" from "His 'n' Hers" 1994
Emperor Daz - I quite liked this track, the backing was I felt very Suitable and appropriate and fitted just the right tone. The words had a repetitive theme about them but that in itself is not necessarily a bad thing. 14/20
Total: 64%
2. "O.U." from "Intro" 1993
Emperor Daz - This song has a monotonous beat to start with , The lyrics are a bit sensationalist and contrived, annoying sound effects abound. Personally I do not really like this song , it quite quickly becomes increasingly annoying. 7/20
Total: 61%
3. "Monday Morning" from "Different Class" 1995
Emperor Daz - This is a slower song, It has less backing support and the emphasis is more on the lyrics. The Lyrics are flowing and have as certain style to them . I like this because of its overall flow. 17/20
Total: 65%
4. "Please Don't Worry" from the Peel Session 1981
Emperor Daz - Although this song has a good rhythm and there is nothing wrong with the song itself the lyrics quite honestly let it down . The Grating and repetitive words really do let his tune which could have been great down. 10/20
Total: 44.5%
5. "The Will To Power" B-side of "Little Girl (With Blue Eyes)" 1985
Emperor Daz - This seems an interesting song it seems to have a repressed feel to it. It rapidly changes from depression to anger. I think the jury is out on this one. I'm not Sure, I think it will appeal to a certain category of people. 9/20
Total: 35%
6. "This House Is Condemned" from "Separations"
1988
Emperor Daz - To start of this song seems to be a collection of sound effects. When the lyrics finally started It seemed as though someone was on helium , It did improve though and when it got going it was not actually that bad (Someone without my patience might however have kicked the walkman in by that time). The lyrics were a bit repetitive but quite well formed. More irritating sound effects followed. 5/20
Total: 43.5%
7."Love Love" from "It" 1983
Emperor Daz - I quite like this song, it has a flowing tune with good lyrics , My only complaint is it is relatively short. It is my favourite so far. 18/20
Total: 75%
8. "The Never Ending Story" from "Freaks" 1986
Emperor Daz - This has a definite build up of tension at the start, It has an old - fashioned theme, The beat behind it is addictive and I can imagine it will take quite a while to get out of my head. This is definitely my favourite out of the 8 I have reviewed 19/20
Total: 50%
So, the winner is - "Love Love" from "It"
Bram's Toker - Seems like token Pulp - nice enough, if a bit tame. A good tune must have a beginning, middle and end, and though it's enjoyable enough it just doesn't develop enough. 12/20.
Eeumifah - There is something very strange about this. The way it slowly turns from a lazy summery ballad into something much more... frightening. The lyrics are perfection - an ideal album closer. 17/20
B. M. Pices - This song has a great introduction leading to a really catchy tune. It has some great background sounds and effects. Oh, and the lyrics are great - 15/20
1805th Horseman - Very dodgy, the person who wrote this song deserves to be shot! It is very dull. 6/20
Bram's Toker - Hey, what's this? It's got a good beat! Starts off well, gets going nicely, but tends toward tedium after, say, a minute. 10/20.
Eeumifah - Interesting, this one. it verges on electro - pop, while still being identifiably Pulp. It keeps up the momentum all the way through, and while not really being the best bit of the album, it still registers as a classic. 18/20
B. M. Pices - Weird! This starts off with a noise like a cat then synthesiser sounds combined with guitar. There isn't much singing, but that doesn't stop it from being good. 16/20
1805th Horseman - An improvement over the last crap that I was forced into listening, this starts off not to bad, but the bastard in the back ground is very annoying. 10/20
Bram's Toker - Sounds a bit like Madness. Very Ska, very early-80's and very nauseating after a while. Nice chorus, though. 12/20.
Eeumifah - 'Monday Morning' is inescapably entangled in my mind with the legendary Glastonbury '95 gig. It's very stop-start, very, well, Ska. 17/20
B. M. Pices - The guitar on this is brilliant, and within minutes Jarv'll have you going 'uh uh uh' along with him. Really catchy! 17/20
1805th Horseman - The person who sings this has no talent. He gets your hopes up thinking that the song will end but it doesn't. This song is total cack, but on the whole it's not a bad song. It's still vastly superior to Oasis. 2/20
Bram's Toker - Er, is this a 45 being played at 33? Sounds like the tune to King Rollo - or was it Mr. Benn? 7/20
Eeumifah - Not the best thing they have ever done, but it definitely shows their potential - even this early on. It is very much a product of it's time, but there is still a certain identifiable something about it. Overall, a promising beginning 14/20
B. M. Pices - I'm not really sure about this one. It's a bit repetitive, but the keyboard solo's great, and afterwards it goes round in your head. 10/20
1805th Horseman - Mmmmmmmmm, Hmmmmmmmn, the tune is not to bad, but song is shite, the singer should shut the fuck up! The lyrics are very annoying and repetitive, repetitive, repetitive, oh when will this song end 3.5/20
Bram's Toker - Scary. Really scary. Help, I'm drowning in my own drivel! 5/20 Eeumifah - This is a really interesting one (he said diplomatically) it gives a good idea of what Russell may do now he's left. It's very arty, very different, very 16/20
B. M. Pices - Wait a sec! Who's taken away Jarvis! This is boring at the start, and when it finally speeds up it gets on your nerves. Not really Pulp style. 2/20
1805th Horseman - Oh no this crap again, how can I say what I think of this rubbish, without offending James, er, it is a bit slow at first, this is very boring and dull, even the Spice Girls has more musical talent to the bloke who sings this, I would like to stick a shotgun in the singer of this group's face and pull the trigger, thank God it is over! 3/20
Bram's Toker - Starts off very nicely, a bit like PWEI meets Night Rider. Doesn't really ever get going though. 15/20.
Eeumifah - This is the climax of "Separations" really. Ok, it's a bit of an acquired taste, but still it's a great track. The lyrics resemble a sort of "automatic poetry". The whole thing is simply formed, but really works. 18/20
B. M. Pices - Techno! Techno! This starts with synthesiser noises accompanied by the occasional sigh from Jarv. Then some weird singing (is this really Jarvis?) then a 10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1,0, we have lift off. 5/20
1805th Horseman - This starts off shite, hmmn and gets even more crappy as the song progresses, the Cure is vastly more superior to this group, oh God it gets even worse, I can't believe that anyone would buy this apart from Errington, this confirms my view that James likes crap music and has no musical taste, what so ever, now it is even shitter, gee I hope this ends very soon, no I prey it ends very soon and this group's tour bus is blown up with the group in it, oh god it is the longest song on the tape, what have I done to deserve this, this is really inauspicious, it still gets worst, the best part of this song is definitely when it is finally over, this is like Techno, but slower and crapper than Techno, at last it is over, at long bloody last. 0.5/20
Bram's Toker - A nice upbeat tune, but it comes dangerously close to Chas ‘n’ Dave. Easily the most accessible yet, so 16/20.
Eeumifah - This sort of epitomises "It," It's very nice, very naive perhaps . It's quite uplifting, quite pleasant. The lyrics are very inviting, the tune is very poppy. Altogether it's quite nice. 16/20
B. M. Pices - This has a very country feel to it and some very strange lyrics with nice guitar and banjo solos. Very... umm... different. 13/20
1805th Horseman - Not to much of a bad start, this would not be to bad after twenty pints of Murphy's, this is the best yet of Errington's music, I do not feel like ripping off Errington's head and piss down his throat so much now, it gets better. 12/20
Bram's Toker - Please, save me! It's bagpipes-and-bumnotes
heaven! Ouch with a capital O. 3/20.
Eeumifah - A very nice build up of a sort of claustrophobic folky sound envelops you for the first few verses. The whole thing is very well co-ordinated, and the lyrics are excellent. 18/20
B. M. Pices - A combination of instruments produces this great catchy tune. Between verses there's a lot of shouting, but don't let this put you off. 10/20
1805th Horseman - The Goth was right, it is shit, yet again we share the same view on music, it starts off crap and gets worse, I hope it ends soon, I wish I could give this song a lower rating than zero. The people who did this song has no talent at all, even Errington could do better! 0/20