I hate writing about music. After doing it for a while I realised I was repeating myself and showing up the limits of my vocabulary. "Indie," "twangy," "rock," "arty," "atmospheric," "good," "fun," "cold," "beats," "instrumental," "electronic," "driving," "shouty," all these words were starting to occur in different (and then the same) patterns. At least with films when you can't think of anything interesting to say about them you can fall back on describing the plot in detail to hide your lack of voice. Can't do that with records but in a vain attempt to add framing to this review, it is being written As Live. Are you ready..?

Nought, that track's an Instrumental, Rock, Song with Spiky guitars. Eeebleee are Tweee, Indie, feysters and I like their song more once the girl starts singing. Just because I'm sexist like that. Boys can't get away with sounding like wusses with public school accents in my CD player. Pram are also Fey and Twee, with Electronic bits but no Beats and a suitably Cold atmosphere for a song called "No Human Company". Their singer sounds like a girly wuss but she does lyrics that make me think "what's that mean?" instead of "stop whining." The Fighting Red Adair song ("Muckraker") is Rock with a Driving bassline and Shouty vocals. But I know that because I have seen them and they are Good. Gosh this Souvaris track is Slow. The guitars are Twangy (or Echoey) in that way that is only a panpipe away from the 5 CD box sets advertised on TV at 4am. I'd like it if I wasn't hopped up from listening to my new Alec Empire record.

Sunnyvale Noise Sub-Element start in a distant, head in amplifier Guitar Spookiness way and go on similarly then add Atmospheric Beats. Dustball I thought were more Punk than this, an Indie Rock Song that could have been written any time since the mid 80s, sung into a cheap microphone. The Appliance song has pompous-sounding Lyrics which don't mean as much as they the way they are sung implies. You could almost Dance to it though. In a half-empty Indie disco full of people who think they are cool. Cat on Form are great. The only fault I can find with "Soiled Skulls" is that it sounded better live. Marginally more intense.

Meanwhile, Back in Communist Russia... there's a Slow, Arty extract from "Fall Between The Walls" with cymbals that go whooosh and not much else happens. It's not even making me want to hear more. I'm sure they were better than this the last thing I heard from them. Now here's a band sounding better this time around, it's an Eeebleee Instrumental. I've always approved of not saying anything if you've nothing interesting to say, that's why I don't speak a lot. They are playing with Electronics here and oh now they're singing but I can't hear the words (did I mention I've got water in my ears?) and it's finished. That was better, "Shoes," much more comfortable. The last track is another from Sunnyvale Noise Sub-Element. Not as spooky, maybe more conventional. Good Guitars. I was just starting to enjoy it when it finished.

So that's it. It might not sound as if I did, but I do like this CD. I don't think anyone could begrudge £4.00 for the thing even if it wasn't for charity*. Buy it all of you so Simon and Stu can get into their living room again.

* At least, they say it's for charity. I don't believe them, it doesn't have U2 or Sting on it.

The Audioscope CD is available online from www.oxfordmusic.net

article by Chris Haikney