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Archive for June, 2005

LIQUID BLUE – Supernova (Deep Blue Records)

Posted: June 8th, 2005, by Fraser Campbell

Wow, my fist review for Diskant. Pretty exciting eh? Well no.
Rather it seems I have been cunningly duped by Marceline into listening to an album I would slap my own mother for even looking at in a shop.
‘Supernova’ by Liquid Blue is a truly dismal record by a band who represent the very antithesis of creativity, heart and rock n’ roll.
Hailing from San Diego, Liquid Blue (eh?) appear to be the brainchild of Raw Power Magazine co-founder Scott Stevens, who also happens to be a fully qualified financial advisor. So right away you see what kind of band they are. This guy is David Brent with a big trust fund.
The band, anything from a 7 to a 17 piece affair boast drums by Josh ‘funky cold’ Medina and ‘turntable’ by someone called ‘Big Dude’. I’m really not joking. I would have at least added monkeys.
Popular on the USO scene in the states, the band’s fan base seems to be dribbling Alabama soldiers impressed by the 3 not-cynically-included-at-all ‘purty’ female singers.

In short (and it really does deserve to be), this is a dreadful mixture of directionless, bland soft rock music, mixed up and corrupted new age philosophy, faux social concern, kindergarten political comment and robust sporty girls. Oh yeah, and 4 not so robust 40 something guys, trying to look anything but their age. The only interesting question this album raises for me is:

What is it about soft rock and aerobic sportswear?

A small tip Liquid Blue (Fuck, that is the worst name for a band ever). Most bands who pretend to “care about the planet” and insist upon foisting their vapid concerns on the public tend not to list their surfboard and wetsuit sponsorships on the back of their albums. Yes, I like to surf while I shed a tear for the little children too, but I’m not sure the others will understand like I do.

I suppose I’d better comment on the actual record. Right, hold your nose.

1) Kashmir – Jesus, where to start? This toothless affair blends a painful mishmash of musical themes and a weak male lead vocal to very little effect.

2) Show me Love – No.

3) If You Gotta Ask – I do I’m afraid, and the question is why, sweet Jesus, why?

4) Supernova – This track implores me to do the “Bossa-supernova”. Oh my fucking God. This is the best track so far by miles.

5) Pretend – More cod ‘Arabian Knights’ pish as the intro. Really guys? Every single tune? Who sold you on that idea? This track is called pretend. I’m going to pretend I was a pro and listened to it all.

6) Rhythm of Love – Without wishing to incur the wrath of The Weathergirls, this sounds a bit like ‘It’s Raining Men’ but not in a good way. Listening to this made me want to strangle my sleeping child.

7) Real – Oh my God. For fuck sake stop letting the keyboard player do Indian/Arabian/Romancing the Stone soundtrack intros!!!!!! AHHHHH! What, do you owe this clown money or something? Just stop it! This sounds like a Britney Spears track remixed by a funky sheik. I know that sort of sounds good. Believe me, this isn’t.

8) Rescue – Once again, sitar/pan pipe Easterny intro. I want to go into a health food store and kill everyone. Once again, the sitar/pan pipe Easterny intro has nothing to do with the pappy American ultra soft rock song it fades into.
This is the best actual song on the album. If done on a piano by someone with an ounce of class or sensitivity it might just be shite. Lyrics include references to something called “Pair-adise” and “when will we rescue the sea?” Anyone still doubt God is dead?

9) Arms of Love – All I can tell you about this one, as I lasted exactly 23 seconds, is that it sounds like Afghanistan’s version of Moby on Top Deck and Mum’s out of date valium.

10) Give Me Back My Heart – Go on! Mibbe she’ll shut up then! Once again, sub-Destiny’s Child garbage to give the tot, I mean talented female vocalists, a chance to shine.

11) Can’t Stop It – And we so wish you could.
ENOUGH WITH THE FUCKING INTROS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It’s hard to believe these people truly imagine that their spray-on, transparently fake concern translates into even mildly diverting lyrical content. This one, about being a couch potato while all around “people” “suffer”, is akin to being lectured on ethics by an aerobics instructor.
Coupled as it is with music that sounds as if it’s been recorded alongside an unrelated advert for a curry house, this track made for as harrowing an experience as my creaking constitution has experienced in many a long year.

12, 13, 14) Fuck it. I can stand no more. I remove the offending disc as I would a piss-stained vagrant from my favourite armchair. You can’t make me listen to the rest so there.

America. If you really want to know where Osama Bin Ladin is hiding, try slapping this baby on the Guantanamo Bay playlist.

Click here to observe the pointless tragedy.

ART BRUT – Bang Bang Rock & Roll

Posted: June 5th, 2005, by Crayola

Now this was a surprise. I was convinced before even hearing them that I’d dislike them. In the same way I knew without a doubt that I’d dislike Franz Ferdinand.
How wrong I was.
The music is bright and clanging and crunchy and exciting. The half spoken vocal does begin to grate by the end of the record, but the lyrics are by turn funny, clever, interesting, ridiculous, which kept me listening.
There’s little else that you need to know about this record. The hip kids will love it as it fits snugly into the current mode of “chic” guitar pop and the anti-hip kids should love it for the great guitar pop that it happens to be.

VARIOUS – More Soul Than Wigan Casino (Fortuna Pop)

Posted: June 5th, 2005, by Crayola

Fortuna Pop’s compilation EP More Soul Than Wigan Casino is a 4 tracker featuring Kicker, Comet Gain, Airport Girl and Butterflies of Love doing covers of Northern Soul classics and murdering them. In fact the the whole thing is an exercise in irony, given that the bands involved rip all the soul out of the originals while pursuing their ambitions to sound like the back end of the C86 movement. And I really mean the back end – I’m talking The Secret Goldfish and Bambi Slam rather than McCarthy and The Wolfhounds. Perhaps it’s just me being a purist, stuck up prig, but if you’re going to make music in an idiom from the past then you should be doing it with verve, not just make carbon copies of what’s gone before. There’s no need to do 80s indie like the darkest depths of the Apricot label when you can do it like Spearmint or The Free French. Hate mail to my usual address, thanks.

EGON – All Theory and No Action (Has Anyone Ever Told You, MR11)

Posted: June 5th, 2005, by Crayola

Egon’s All Theory and No Action is very clever indeed. Those of you who know me will know of my intense dislike, bordering on hatred, of Nirvana. They have a lot to answer for. Like helping mundane MOR rock get lauded as “legendary” or “classic” simply by playing quietly on verses and then LOUDLY on choruses.
Egon use this same tactic, but, and it’s a big but, there’s something about the construction of the songs that pleases me. Is it the organs draped all over the mix? Is it the Central American accent singing in hushed tones? It’s certainly not the songs per se. There’s nothing particularly new or inventive there. But the way the songs are carried off is startling. Hidden away somewhere in the mix is the out-funk of Liquid Liquid or The Contortions. Not that this is a funky record, quite the opposite, but the soul of the Neo York Disco scene bubbles away underneath and simply lifts this record out of the rock mire and into the “you really ought to listen to this” category.

HOW TO SWIM – It Stings When I EP (Personal Hygiene, PH02)

Posted: June 5th, 2005, by Crayola

It Stings When I EP took me completely by surprise. I think I was expecting to be mildly disappointed while having to listen to half arsed post post rock but no. How dare a band I’ve never heard of not sound anything like their cover art and rubbish record title suggest.
How to Swim are, if anything, part of a new movement that I’ve just made up.
How to Swim are ‘Post Vaudeville’.
From the opening operatic boom of Bones, all slightly discordant chords fighting swathes of brass and a singer coming on like Nick Cave on cheap Rye Whisky, through the cleverly constructed Bhundu Boys (yes really, Bhundu Boys) riff of There’s a Building There, this EP uses a host of styles while maintaining a logical progression for the players in the band.
And there’s a lot of them.
200 at the last count.
OK, perhaps not 200, but there’s a lot of them.
I like this EP a lot for two reasons:
The sheer audacity of the sound that the band create to complement some really quite clever song writing, and the fact that there’s so many of them that I daren’t say anything bad.

MILKY WIMPSHAKE – Popshaped (Fortuna Pop!)

Posted: June 4th, 2005, by Marceline Smith

Milky Wimpshake is one of the many projects of Pete Dale, something of a diskant hero for Slampt, Red Monkey and the awesome Fast Connection zine and this is partly a collection of old 7″s and partly new songs. Milky Wimpshake make punk pop in the classic 80s indie style; short and simple with cleverly intelligent lyrics on love, politics and people. It’s got charm and heart in shovelfuls whether the subject’s Spiderman comics, the state of the current government or just simple love, love, love. With uncomplicated guitars, perky organ and heartfelt vocals it reminds me most of Heavenly and The Wedding Present and makes them a band for incurable romantics everywhere.

Fortuna Pop

HAMBONE

Posted: June 4th, 2005, by Chris S

I have had a really nasty hangover all day as a result of putting on ONEIDA last night in Nottingham. Our proposed support band pulled out (the mighty DIE MUNCH MACHINE – we forgive you) so we ended up hastily assembling an Arkestra for the night consisting of Dave Stockwell, Dave Moult, Gareth Hardwick, Lucky Chua and myself. 4 guitars and a cello. The relief of finishing was so great and Oneida so trance like and mighty I set about celebrating.
What the fuck has this got to do with the price of bread you might think?
Well, I found a hangover cure! HAMBONE by ARCHIE SHEPP on his Impulse album FIRE MUSIC.
It goes like this.

Bom-Bom (bu bu bu bup) Bom-Bom (bu bu bu bup)

Dur dur dur dee dah dah dee dee dur dahhh dahh dahhhhh
durdupdup dahdupdupduh dur dur dur dubbub du dah der didda da DAH!

Bom-Bom (bu bu bu bup) Bom-Bom (bu bu bu bup)

NA NA NA NA NAAA; NUR NUR NUH
NA NA NA NA NAAA; NUR NUR NUH
NA NA NA NA NAAA; NUR NUR NUH
NA NA NA NA NAAA; NUR NUR NUH
NA NA NA NA NAAA; NUR NUR NUH
NA NA NA NA NAAA; NUR NUR NUH
NA NA NA NA NAAA; NUR NUR NUH

Then it stops and goes all the way around again and thenittakesoffandgoestotallymenetalovertheNA NA NA NA NAAA; NUR NUR NUHriffbutwithArchiejustgoingwildoveritandsummoning upthepowersofthegods
andheavenandhellinhishornandspeakingthetruthaaaaahhhhhhh!!

My head is free!

Christmas ATP

Posted: June 3rd, 2005, by JGRAM

Christmas ATP (curated by Mars Volta) lineup announced.

Who is in?

Blonde Redhead and Les Savy Fav! It’s already far better than the Slint lineup.

Things I have seen in the last week and a bit

Posted: June 3rd, 2005, by Ollie

My Cat Is An Alien (Mincing around with laser guns)
Haeti (Three times! Lovely)
Elephant Micah (Twice! Also lovely)
Last of the Real Hardmen (Chris something)
Hot Snakes (Great! See comments below)
Metal Gear Solid Madonnas (Loud!)
MV+EE (Fantastic, nicest folks ever)
Cos (Veteran weirdo)
The Magic Band (Decent, but glad I didn’t pay £18 for the pleasure)
Magnolia Electric Co. (Played Farewell Transmission. I was happy)

Haven’t had a good night’s sleep or an actual meal in roughly forever. Today is my last day of work after which I will become a unemployed pauper. Tomorrow is Strawberry Fair, Hawkwind are headlining. After this I plan to never leave the house again.

PS. Giz a job.

MARMADUKE DUKE: The Magnificent Duke (Captains Of Industry)

Posted: June 2nd, 2005, by Tom Leins

Those of you who find yourself shuddering and reaching for sharp implements when you see the words ‘concept’ and ‘album’ would be well-advised to look away now…

‘The Magnificent Duke’ is a busy, busy album. Unsettling yet compelling – just like conjoined children… And, just like with conjoined children, with Marmaduke Duke we also get more than we bargained for. In this case: a bubbling cauldron full of post-hardcore yelps, metal guitars, subdued indie and twiddly prog mannerisms. They say ‘cocktail’, I say ‘stew’ – but, then again, i’ve always preferred stew.

Usually when i stumble across prog musicians lurking in the wild, nourishing themselves on chunks of old vinyl and scraps of tree-bark i’d flush them out of hiding with punk-rock music, trap them with a burlap sack and drown them in the nearest reservoir, but, with Marmaduke Duke i’m happy to make an exception.

The press release is laudably pretentious, and can only be encouraged. “[They] won’t be so crass as to use the words ‘genius’ or ‘classic’ – they’re long since redundant terms in the modern pop lexicon, over-used and worthless. Nor shall we use such regimented ideas of ‘band’ and ‘album’.” Similarly, I wouldn’t be so crass as to give this album a ‘review’ (bad or otherwise) as such. After all, who knows what it would do to their prog-addled minds? (I think they’ve already got enough jazz-rock turmoil to be getting on with for one band…)

Not a bad album, by any stretch of the imagination, just a preposterously overblown one. But, if there’s room for The Mars Volta in your life, then there’s almost certainly room for Marmaduke Duke and friends.

www.captainsof.com